“I’ve often wondered why bad things happen to good people – the answer is simple. Because it keeps them good.” – Adrian DeRoy

My first encounter with grief and trauma was almost two decades ago when a very dear friend passed away in a brutal accident. They were four of them in the car on that fateful night, two survived and two met with instant death. Why him? Why take him away? Why do this to his parents? That was the first time I had asked a very loud and excruciatingly painful WHY???!

WHY do bad things happen to good people? I kept asking this question, reiterating in every real instance concerning people whom I know –

• WHY does a tree fall on a teenager so badly that she has to get her leg amputated?
• WHY does a loving family get cheated of their rightful legacy of wealth?
• WHY does the metal wire accidentally fling into the eye of only one man in a room of ten?
• WHY does a poor maid’s only son becomes a drug addict and leaves her?
• WHY do life-threatening diseases attack the kind-hearted folks?

Seeking answers:

In our moments of deep pain and mourning, it is only human to question our faith. To question God. To question the very existence of God. If there really was God, why would He want suffering for us? Is He not supposed to love us, bless us, keep us safe? Why are we truly here and what is our life’s ultimate purpose?

The questions took a personal dimension, as I lay on the threshold of my marital separation. ‘Why would this happen to me? I haven’t hurt anyone or done anything wrong. I have been a good wife and daughter-in-law (or so I thought). Why should my innocent children be subjected to this trauma? This is so not fair!’ I found myself being unusually skeptical. Amidst my suffering and tribulations, there were innumerable times when I doubted my faith. The very core of my values was shaken and under threat. Life was posing more and more questions.

As I kept seeking, the answers came revealing in several different ways – through books, people, meditations, spiritual channels, quiet times, synchronicity, etc. It has been a gradual process of understanding and internalising. Purely out of my life experiences and my views only, this is what I believe I have learnt.

When bad things happen to good people:

• A situation needs no labelling of good or bad, positive or negative
• The universe is interested in our personal and spiritual growth
• The Law of Karma could be showing up
• Nothing is permanent, make peace with this reality
• It is time to learn the lessons we are meant to learn
• Life is not meant to be fair and doesn’t always give what we want
• How we face things and live – that’s what matters
• Our hardest challenges reveal our true spirit
• Tough times don’t last forever, tough people do (clichéd but relevant)

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” –Walter Anderson

Looking at tough times from a different perspective:

It is in our darkest hours that we are inspired to seek the divine light. Hang in there and try to accept your life situation like a bystander- the pain will be significantly less. There is a reassuring strength that comes from within, when you seek the divine presence. And the universe is watching over us, constantly guiding us on the path we are meant to follow. Keep the faith and take one day at a time. There is always a larger plan at work – the bewildering puzzle pieces will eventually fit into one big picture.

Believe!