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True love begins by loving ourselves first

True love begins by loving ourselves first

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“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” ~Carrie Bradshaw 

It’s Valentines Day tomorrow – love is in the air! Candlelight dinners are being booked. Valentine cards with pop-up hearts are selling across gift shops. Heart-shaped red balloons have been visible on street signals past few days. Couples of all ages right from teenyboppers to the newly marrieds to the been-married-for-decades look forward to this day in their own ways. The thought of spending precious time with your loved one and receiving lovely goodies makes it a day to cherish.

Thinking of it all makes me wonder what does Valentine’s Day hold for singles like me that do not have a doting partner. It’s a day meant for love, but does it have to be celebrated only by couples? Nah, it’s a day to celebrate love and love does not necessarily mean your special someone or spouse. There are so may people in our lives on whom we can shower our love. How do we make it special for them and for us? What does love really mean anyways?

With time and wisdom gained from life’s experiences, I have learned to believe that love truly begins by loving ourselves first. If we are unable to love ourselves, we cannot sincerely love others. When our self-love grows, we become happier and confident and thereby radiate more love. No matter how many relationships we have and whatever their quality maybe, it is essential to keep coming back to the one relationship that counts – with our self!

Here’s looking at a few ways to love ourselves more than we do:

  • Self-acceptance –We are all born as unique individuals. Beautiful, quirky, imperfect, flawed, talented – we are who we are with all our positive assets as well as our shortcomings. Rather than wishing that we were made differently or comparing ourselves with others, it is good to acknowledge everything about us. Self-love begins with accepting ourselves as we are.
  • Self-esteem – No matter what choices we make in life, be focused on who you are and not how others see you. Do not get defined by others’ opinion or judgment about you. Work on maintaining a healthy self-esteem and self-worth. What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. –Eleanor Roosevelt

  • Self-appreciation – How wonderful it feels to be appreciated by people. To be applauded for your accomplishments, for how you made a difference to others and for the value you add in everyone’s lives. And when you feel less appreciated than what you deserve, or crave for, then give yourself a pat on your back every once in a while. Its good to remind ourselves of where we were and how far we have come crossing several life hurdles!
  • Self-care- Love means being kind, encouraging and caring. Self-love is to be that and direct all those energies towards us. We don’t necessarily need anyone else to care for us, we are capable of pampering ourselves in more than one ways. Look out for yourself. Take time to indulge in what makes your soul happy. A little celebratory pastry once in a while will not hurt your body.

  • Self-respect- Self-respect is a virtue no one can take away from us. Do not lose your dignity by demeaning or short-changing yourself. The way we treat ourselves is in a way an invitation for others to treat us. It’s important to stay away from people and situations that pull us down. Maintaining our self-respect is key to self-love, we must preserve it at all cost.

You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you ~Dodinsky

Loving ourselves does not mean we are selfish or self-indulgent. It means nurturing ourselves and replenishing our spirits so that we can give from a place of fulfilment. It is a cornerstone for healthy love and healthy relationships!

Related links:

http://happyfoodhealthylife.com/50-ways-to-love-pamper-yourself-on-valentines-day-every-day/

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/increase-self-love-ways-good-to-yourself/

 

Image courtesy: Pexels

Comic strip courtesy: mimiandeunice.com

“She Let Go” – A Poem!

“She Let Go” – A Poem!

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letting-go1

After having shared my difficulties with letting go in the previous post, I chanced upon this very beautiful poem by Rev. Safire Rose and thought this would be a perfect sequel to ‘Letting Go can be very hard’. Serendipity anyone?

Over the years, I have struggled to let go of so many things – both tangible and non-tangible. It is an ongoing process of releasing all that I want to cling on to so very tight. Every time I let go of something painful to release, I feel a void within me. But the emptiness that follows brings with it a sense of freedom and lightness –such a precious feeling that is!

We do have the power to make a conscious choice of dropping the baggage behind and moving forward. Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go:

“She Let Go” by Rev. Safire Rose

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

Would you like to ‘Let Go’ of something today? Do mention in the comments to really let it go, take a deep breath and notice how you feel! 🙂

The practice of ‘Quiet Time’

The practice of ‘Quiet Time’

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Quiet Time

“Often the best gift you can give yourself is time alone- time to ask your questions and listen quietly for answers.” ~ Katrina Mayer.

As a child, I was privileged to have been introduced to an organisation called Moral Re-Armament (MRA), currently known as Initiatives of Change (IofC). Talking about this worldwide movement, its philosophy and the people behind it deserve a separate blog post. But for now, I want to highlight the one thing (out of many) that I learnt here – the practice of Quiet Time.

There is a little tiny voice within each of us that is always available to talk to us. Some call it God, some call it the spirit; some prefer calling it an angel guide and some call it our inner conscience or inner voice. It’s not so important how you label it, as long as we care to listen to it. The practice of Quiet time is to consciously dedicate certain time of our day to sit down without any distraction and listen intently to our inner voice. It is an effective exercise to seek inner guidance and clarity.

When there is darkness all around us and we tend to lose it all, this little voice shines like our beacon of hope. When you are flustered with the many questions that face you and you know not what to do, it is this divine time that helps you seek the answers from within. It gives your mind a chance to restore itself and bring order. So listen. Just listen.

This practice of Quiet Time has been my rock solid anchor in troubled waters. Amidst the chaos of many voices that surrounded me during turbulent times, the soothing sound that came from inside of me acted like a balm to all my wounds. Being in Quiet Time brings clarity when the mind is confused and stuck. Listening intently just puts things in perspective. Anytime a problem arises, I find it very helpful to become quiet and turn inward. And the voice that comes from within is aligned with your true self!

Recommended Practice Tips:

The early morning hours as soon as we rise is the best time of the day to be in silence. But that’s only a preference and should not restrict you to not do it at all. You must set aside at least 15 minutes (ideal is 30 minutes) in your daily schedule. It would be nice to practice this outdoor in a place close to nature. Maybe a quiet spot in a park close to your home, or by the seaside or on your terrace. Any place which is peaceful and non-crowded. It’s perfectly okay to even observe quiet time in your peaceful corner at home, be it in a balcony or your bedroom. As long as it’s quiet enough for you to be by yourself, undisturbed, to enable you to listen.

Be away from the cell phones, tablets and electronic gadgets that keep shouting for attention all day. Switch off from everything and everyone completely during this time. Write down your thoughts if you desire. Stay away from all voices so you can hear your very own from within.

Enjoy every moment of silence in your Quiet Time!

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